Kali left for the Bridge this afternoon. She was her normal bratty self giving the staff at the vets a hard time. Their plan was to put in an IV in the back room bring her back to the exam room and give her a drug to make her fall asleep and then the final drug. I was to leave after the first drug but before the last. Well, I heard her screaming full force in the back room. They came back and asked me if they could sedate her first then bring her back in. At first I said yes, then I asked if they could sedate her with me and then do everything else while I was gone. They didn't like the idea, but I was here for Kali not them. So she complained while they poked her and I tried to sooth her as I said good-bye. I had told the vet that as soon as she couldn't tell I was there to let me know, so that I could leave quickly. So I'm there talking to her for a long time and I finally ask, isn't she sedated yet. And they say told me that she was. So they thought I was saying all of that because I needed to and didn't realize that I was wanting out of  there. I had been focusing on my sweetie and didn't realize that the vet wasn't there. There were two vet techs and they hadn't heard my request to be told as soon as she lost consciousness. Ugh! It didn't go as smoothly as it could, but honestly that was Kali's style. She was a Tortie to the bone.

 I miss her terribly already. The vet had a huge cage filled with four snowshoe tabby kittens with signs requesting that the kits be held so they could be socialized. They were of course up for adoption. I almost considered putting one in the carrier on my way out. "Kitties, surprise, Kali's gone, but we have a new sister for you to meet!" I'm afraid Cookie might have smoothered me in my sleep.

I owe you all my sanity. Whenever I thought I couldn't bear it, I thought of all of you who wrote saying that you had gone through a loss and that gave me strength. I thought of the candles being lit, the moment of silence during Gree and Othello's gathering and people saying they would think of my girl it all gave me such strength. I felt the love, thank you,

Kali Wants to Go Home

I will be calling the vet and trying to make an appointment to assist my lovely lady to the Bridge today. She's developed a tick. Her head jerks back and forth. She's wobbly on her feet. She's always been a very dignified cat. I owe her to allow her to go before she loses any more of her cat sensibilities. 

I forced some Super Charger into her mouth yesterday. And then she actually drank some salmon juice and ate a tiny bit of the fish. I was praising her like crazy and she was trying to please me. Still it's not enough to change my decision.

I'll come back and let you all know if I get the appointment with the vet. 

Thank you everyone for all of your support.

Love, Lynn

Update

4:00 pm PST is the time she will be meeting with the vet. I keep reminding myself that she deserves this. I need to remember it's suppose to be about what's best for HER not me. For me, I could keep her around until the last possible moment...

She purrs as soon as she sees me and allows me to pet her entire body, something I never was allowed to do before. I was limited to petting just her head before. She continues to answer all my comments with a meow, just has she's always done before. That's my girl, always needing to get the last word in. 

Kali does have a sister at the Bridge that will help her cross. I lost Katie about 10 years ago to kidney failure. She was only 4 years old at the time. She gave me no warning. Kali used to bully her something awful because Kali couldn't stand to share me with the little one. That was a long time ago. Katie never did hold a grudge. I bet she'll show her the ropes. And Lilly's mother Peggy has written that Lilly. who just recently crossed, will also be there for my girl. (Oh gosh, and now Castle writes that Stormie will be there too!) This means a lot simply because I cannot go with her to make sure she's safe and happy and not hissing at others. I guess this is where faith is suppose to take over. I need to surrender my baby in so many different ways. I'm not good at surrendering. I'm good at holding onto things...tightly.

Ok, well I'm going to go enjoy some last moments. Again, thank you. Please pray for me to be strong. If you're not into prayer maybe you could imagine thoughts of me being a strong resilient cat owner, who can handle this, no problem. Thank you.

Good Bye Sweet Girl !

Stormie, 

We are so proud of you for winning your fight. What a wonderful example of strength  you are. You will be missed and never forgotten. 

Could you keep a look out for a fiery Tortie who should be crossing your way pretty soon?  She's my sister and we want her to find friends over where you are. She's never been very good at making kitty friends. 

We know that now that you are pain free and for that, we are grateful. Enjoy yourself and we'll try and take care of your family over here. 

Until we meet again.

Headbumps and purrs,

Tyler

Kali is still not eating. I tried giving her heated chicken baby food, heated chicken liver (suggested on a website). I gave her the antibiotic, but I don't think she has an infection. I also gave her  some of the Lickable Super Charger that Moki's mom recommended. It's similar to the paste they make to get rid of hairballs. It has calories and nutritional supplements in it. It's the only thing she would eat, yet she started gagging after she first ate it.  After forcing the antibiotic down her, I didn't have the heart to force food down her too. As a Tortie, she's always prized her dignity.  She still is drinking water on her own. But she looked me in the eye and I feel as if she asked me to let her go. 

I still have to go to work today and I don't want to spend the day tearing up in front of my first graders like I did last week so I'm not making any decisions about when I'll take her in exactly. School is over next Tues. Although I welcome a bit of time off before I'll work again during summer school, there is so much required of me right now. I feel as if I can't concentrate on doing as much for Kali as I'd like to. 

I bought so many foods yesterday that I still want to see if she'll eat. Chicken has always been her number one love, but I need to try the other things too.

Oh Darn!

So, now Kali isn't eating. She refused a piece of cheese and Temptations. I want to start her on the antibiotics today just in case that's the problem. I want to try giving her baby food. Does anyone know what type I should buy? Or do you have any other suggestions?

If she still doesn't eat, well that's my sign to let her go. I will ask you to purr for her still. Thank you. 

PS She did eat her pill pocket.

News from Vet

Lynn again: Kali's blood work is back and it's not good news. She has beginning kidney disease. She has some sort of heart disease. Her heart is enlarged. Her thyroid is fine. So that's not what caused her heart to get out of whack. The radiologist thinks she "may" have an infection in her lungs. It's not typical, but it could be what was causing her lungs to look like they were filled with water on the X-rays. So we're going to put her on antibiotics. If that doesn't show a big improvement, it's probably something serious like cancer. 

The vet wanted to have two ultrasounds done at $500 a piece. I cannot afford that. She's an old girl. They might be able to pinpoint what she has, but at her age, what are they going to do to help her?

 I will  need to have her put to sleep as soon as she is not living a good life. The vet said to check out if she stops eating or drinking or showing signs she wants to go off and hide and be alone. I haven't been home a lot, but when I am I still hear her coughing. Before when she was vomiting she would always start with a cough. The same thing she has always done if she had a hairball. In the morning she did vomit after her cough but this afternoon I just heard the cough. Her white blood cells were slightly elevated but that could have been caused by stress. 

Here comes my old geezer girl...

Ah, well that was a quick visit. I opened up the Temptaions' bag for Kali and all of a sudden I had four cats in my lap.  After eating her treat, Miss Kali took off again. I think she read my thoughts and wanted to prove to me that today wasn't her day to go. Normally she would have whapped the others away until she could lie down nest to me.

Thank you Girl, I'm thrilled to know that today your still here to hug and kiss.

Tyler at the keyboard: Sheesh, I finally get to write on my own blog. Mom has been giving my big sis Kali WAY to much attention. She looks like the same old annoying sister of always. She's walking around, eating and drinking, I really think much too much was made of a little hairball yacking. She still is doing that a bit. And mom is feeding her those delicious Pill Pockets three times a day. And when I ask her, "Mom may I please just have one", she says, 'No.' Can you believe that? That old geezer girl is getting on my last nerve.

 I'm having to sit in mom's lap in the evenings and turn on the old charm, just so she remembers that I live here too. I did get some Temptations last night for allowing her to furminate me. The funny thing is that I like getting my hairs stolen. I have way too many of them for these hot June days. Cookie started growling at mom for the same offense. That one has quite the attitude. Doesn't she know that getting rid of the old hairs feels good? Finally she allowed mom to continue, but she wouldn't put up with changing sitting postions so that mom could have more access to fur. And the surprise was that Jake seems to be liking the Furminator. He hated the Zoom Groom so mom assumed they'd be the same. He actually sat still for a little bit.

 I'm still the best kitty, I don't give my mom any troubles, ever. Ok, when I whap Kali I do agravate my mom and get in trouble for that. But she deserves it, I promise you she does. Have a great day!

Lynn here: I played phone tag with the vet regarding Kali's blood results. She looks a lot better. Yet as Tyler said above she did yack up her breakfast this morning. I need to ask the vet if I should have repilled her after that because I had given her the meds only 15 mins. before. Thanks again for all your good thoughts and wishes. They mean so very much! Enjoy a good day.