Tyler in the Morning

Hi Friends,

Finally mom fixed the camera. She decides to wake me up at 3:30 am for the photo shoot. She's been sleeping through the whole weekend because she's sick with a wickedly sore throat. So now she's awake and raring to go. This is my best black panther "Good Morning" look so early in the am, folks. I hope your Sunday is as lazy as can be.

Jake: The strangest thing happened this morning. I was lying in the Millie bed closest to mom when my crabby sister who hates me came by. I ignored her by looking the other way. The next thing I know the girl is curled up laying beside and atop of me. You should have seen Mom's mouth drop. I cried out, "What the heck!" and then I shot out of there as quick as my legs could get me out of there. I couldn't wait for her to turn around and start spitting in my face. As soon as I moved, she did start growling and complaining. Typical Cookie.

Mom: I saw the whole thing unfold, Jake. You're right I was shocked. That dear crabby growler of mine never has a kind word for you and the next thing you know she wants to cuddle. She must have been extremely cold. But if the two of you were to come to some sort of agreement, I would be the happiest cat mom around.

Cookie: Listen Mom, I wanted the bed. I didn't want to be friendly. I knew that if I just pretended he was invisible he would become so.. It's that simple. So don't think I'm going to start liking that orange annoyance. It won't happen, ever.

Cookie: I'm here to do the tattling today. First of all, our mom LEFT us on Thanksgiving day and hasn't come back yet. I knew this was going to happen when I saw the suitcase come out and saw the amount of clothes she was packing. But then I saw something really suspicious. She packed a brand new Furminator brush too. That could only mean one thing. She's two timing us. Now, I was able to teleport over to our auntie's house because that's where she told us she was going. I spied on mom from atop the tall cabinets that auntie has at her house. I saw my mom sweet talking my two tuxie cousins. She gave them treats off of her own plate. Does she do that at home with us? Noooooo, it's against the rules. She went to all this trouble making a kitty toy out of shoe string and a Lego man. With us, it's store bought toys only. I ever heard her call the kitties to her at bedtime so they would sleep with her. Chase slept right next to her and Chris slept in between her calves. When I do that, it's "Please move over Cookie, I gotta turn over."lllllllll

So when she gets back, she's gonna hear it from all of us. Because I'm letting all of my brothers and my little sister know exactly what she's been up to. We'll see who wants to sleep with her after they know what's been going on.

Oh, guess what? Mom finally brought the camera home from work. She tried uploading beautiful pictures of us into her laptop and found out that the disk is damaged. So she needs to buy a new one. Which she STILL hasn't done. Now if she had taken the camera to our cousins house, I'm sure she would have bought the disk already.

What! Did my listening ears just hear that mom's on her way home?Woohoo! Oh I mean who cares? ::yawn:: I'll just curl up here on the couch by the front door.

I hope all you kitties out there how wonderful Saturday catnaps.

Mom and the Bottle

Tyler: I'm sooooo mad at my mom!!!! She squirted me with WATER on my butt!!! Why did she spray me with the liquid punishment in a bottle? For no good reason! That's why!

The Mom: Tyler, tell the truth please.

Tyler: The truth is that I went up to my uppity sister Cookie and gave her an "I love you tap" cuz even though she's a pain, it is the season for love and good cheer.

The Mom: Tyler tell the truth please.

So my love tap was a LITTLE harsh.

Tyler. Tell...

Ok, so I hit her as hard as I possibly could.

Because...

She looked too happy all snuggled up in MY Millie bed.

Your Millie b-?

In A Mille bed. I know, I know, there was another empty Millie bed right next to the one she was using. But, I'M the alpha cat, and she just looked too darn happy in THAT Millie bed.

Tyler, I thought I raised you to be-

A loving alpha cat? Ok, sorry mom. I'm gonna just go and curl up in the other Millie bed.

Good idea.

The Box

Feast your eyes on an exact replica of the object that has upset what little balance of peace that was maintained among us catfolk here at Tyler's Tattles. It's called a Kong Kickaroo. Mom ordered a new Millie bed from the Siamese Rescue Store and though in the kickaroo as an afterthought. Well, today mom opens the box, places the Millie bed on top of her own bed. Two seconds later Cookie jumps into it. (She can still be found curled up there with no sense of remorse for being a bed monopolizer.) Next mom tosses the kikaroo to docile little Sophie. Well, when I politely asked her if I could have a turn she bopped me on the head WITH claws. Next thing I know she's whapping me for merely reminding her that I'm the alpha cat around here and it was an oversight on mom's part not to hand the toy to me first. I did what I do best and tattled to mom that Sophie was stoned on the primo nip that's in that toy and she better act fast before both Jake and I give her a lesson on what happens to little sisters that whap before they think and don't share the new Kickaroo with her brothers.

Jake here: I think I need a translator. Last night mommy was standing in the family room and I walked up to her and said, "Aaahhhww." She bent down PICKED ME UP and tried to fling me across her shoulder while saying, "Oh Jakie, so you want me to pick you up?" I tensed my body up in a ball and corrected her, "Eeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhhhhwwwwww." I even looked her straight in the eye to let her know I was serious. Finally she put me back on the floor where I belonged, thank goodness. And I repeated my original command of, "Aaahhww," she reached down and scratched my back the way I like it. Now why didn't she just do that in the first place? Does anyone know of a good translator of kitty to English? I think my mom may need some help.

Simple Saturday

Hey everyone! Thanks for the birthday wishes. The mom even forgot it was my birthday. She made it up to me though with some super duper skritches and some flaked tuna too. Of course, I had to share with all my other sibs.

That Jake is such a hog. He sticks his paw right into the jar of flaked tuna and showers the bed with a gazillion tiny pieces. He only eats the big chunks before he's after the jar again trying to get his wily little paw in there again. Jake's been joining us for naps on the bed more and more. This morning when mom was working on her laptop she felt a cat cuddle up between her knees. She assumed it was Cookie because the only other cat that rests there is Sophie and she could see her elsewhere in the room. Hours later she looked down surprised to see Jake. He's getting bolder and bolder with his sleeping arrangements. It's good to have him with the rest of us. Cookie still tries to scare Sophie and especially Jake away from mom, but they're learning to ignore her, much to Cookie's consternation.

Mom has been leaving the camera at work where she needs it. She's going to try to remember to bring it home so we can display our handsome faces.