Saturday, June 14, 2008

 Kali left for the Bridge this afternoon. She was her normal bratty self giving the staff at the vets a hard time. Their plan was to put in an IV in the back room bring her back to the exam room and give her a drug to make her fall asleep and then the final drug. I was to leave after the first drug but before the last. Well, I heard her screaming full force in the back room. They came back and asked me if they could sedate her first then bring her back in. At first I said yes, then I asked if they could sedate her with me and then do everything else while I was gone. They didn't like the idea, but I was here for Kali not them. So she complained while they poked her and I tried to sooth her as I said good-bye. I had told the vet that as soon as she couldn't tell I was there to let me know, so that I could leave quickly. So I'm there talking to her for a long time and I finally ask, isn't she sedated yet. And they say told me that she was. So they thought I was saying all of that because I needed to and didn't realize that I was wanting out of  there. I had been focusing on my sweetie and didn't realize that the vet wasn't there. There were two vet techs and they hadn't heard my request to be told as soon as she lost consciousness. Ugh! It didn't go as smoothly as it could, but honestly that was Kali's style. She was a Tortie to the bone.

 I miss her terribly already. The vet had a huge cage filled with four snowshoe tabby kittens with signs requesting that the kits be held so they could be socialized. They were of course up for adoption. I almost considered putting one in the carrier on my way out. "Kitties, surprise, Kali's gone, but we have a new sister for you to meet!" I'm afraid Cookie might have smoothered me in my sleep.

I owe you all my sanity. Whenever I thought I couldn't bear it, I thought of all of you who wrote saying that you had gone through a loss and that gave me strength. I thought of the candles being lit, the moment of silence during Gree and Othello's gathering and people saying they would think of my girl it all gave me such strength. I felt the love, thank you,

62 comments:

Jans Funny Farm said...

We are so sorry. This is not an easy time and when things go wrong.....

We have posted "celebrate Cali" to let you know we care.

purrs and tail wags
and {{{{hugs}}}

Samantha & Mom said...

((((((((((((((((((HUGS to all of you from all of us))))))))))))))!!! Our purrrrs and purrayers are with you!!
Your FL furiends,

Parker said...

We are so sorry...
Hugs to you - Kali is playing at the Bridge now and is not suffering.
xoxoxoxox

The Meezers or Billy said...

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you TylersMom. We are sorry that it didn't go smoothly for you, but you can now be sure that you voice and gentle words were the last ones she heard as she ran off to the Bridge.

Smeagol and Strider, Mystery (Sunnin' at the Bridge) and Gizmo too! said...

We are so sorry. We're purrin' and purrayin' for you and Kali and all the kitties there.
We know Kali already has made lotsa furriends at the the Bridge, includin' our Those Who Came Before.
((((((HUGS)))))) to you all.

Sassy Kat said...

I wanted to stop by and say how sorry I was to hear that Kali went to The Rainbow Bridge today. I didn't know Kali and I wish I had. I know you are missing Kali and hope that in time the sadness will be replaced by the fun you shared. My prayers are for you and my heart is heavy.

michico*Adan*Lego-小芥*阿丹*樂高 said...

I am so so sorry to hear this news, really, deeply....
Kali now is at the bridge playing with our Stormie now, she won't be alone....

Big big hugs!!!!

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

No, it's not easy, even when it goes right. It is truly the hardest thing you will ever do.
Eighteen years is a long, long time. Just keep remembering you did it for her, not for yourself.
And remember Kali will always live in your heart.
She is free, healthy, happy, meeting all her friends, old and new, at the Bridge, and looking down on you to make sure you are all right. And you will meet again.
Love, ML

PB 'n J said...

Leave it to a Tortie to be a Tough A** to the end. We're sorry it didn't go as smoothly as you had planned, but at least she was true to her spirit.

We're purring for you all to have strength in this difficult time, but we take comfort in knowing that Kali is young and healthy again across the bridge.

{{{{Hugs}}}} to one and all!
Pearl, Bert and Jake

Laila and Angel Minchie said...

Oh, Lynn, I am typing this through tears. I so feel your pain and loss. You won't believe this but at 7:45 pm CDT there appeared a double rainbow here in the Chicago suburbs! I'm convinced the first one was my Lilly getting ready to help Kali across and lo and behold, the second one appeared to the left of it, Kali crossing with her paw in paw. I took pictures and will post them on our blog tomorrow.

Our candle is burning brightly, the only light source in the living room right now besides this monitor and the tv.

May you hold Kali close to your heart now and forever. Just know everyone is thinking of you and the other furries left behind.

Take care of yourself and lots of {{{HUGS}}} and purrs.

Peggy and Laila

Kaz's Cats said...

We're so sorry that Kali had to go on ahead of you - and really sorry that things didn't go as smoothly as planned. Kali would have appreciated that you were there for her, even after she lost consciousness. You obviously looked after Kali so well for all of the time that she lived with you. Big hugs and headbutts to you and Kali's furry siblings through this difficult time,

Gypsy & Tasha & Kaz (Mum)

Buckwheat Snapp said...

Oh this is so sad. My mum and I are very sorry to hear of Kali's passing and her eyes are leeking. What a sad weekend in the blogosfeer. Kali will be missed by all, but she is free to run and play at the bridge now with no pain. Purrayrs to you.

{{{Hugz}}}
Willie

Kimo and Sabi said...

We are sorry that things did not go as smoothly as planned . . . Kali & Stormie have probably already met each other on the other side of the bridge! We hope your sadness passes soon and you can enjoy remembering all the great moments. Purrrrs.

Gemini and Ichiro said...

Purrs to you. It is never easy to loose a loved one.

Sweet Purrfections said...

Our purrs are with you today.

Zippy, Sadie, Speedy and M'Gee said...

You should know...you did right by Kali, loved her and took care of her right up to the end. It is never easy and it hurts so much. We know she'll be happily playing and waiting for you at the Bridge.

Lux said...

{{{hugs}}} to you. We know how hard it is to let go.

Purrs

Lacy said...

sad woof's, sooo sorrwy to hear bout Kali...saw it over at Jan's Funny Farm and thought i wood come pay my respects...a hard decision the have to make, my thoughts and prayers r with u...my angel lacylulu, will help Kali...

a sad,
rocky
bear
angel lacylulu
and mama!!!

Angel MoMo and Charlotte said...

We so sorry to hear this. Our thoughts are with you in this very difficult time. My SS is in China and I can't get noos much from the CB. HUGS and headbutts to you all!!!!!

mog said...

I was at Gree and Kashim's shower, they had a moment of silence and lots of purrs and hugs for Kali from all the kitties there.

It is hard to lose family, especially the furry ones who are never with us long enough. You made the right decision. Kali is now pain free playing with her friends over the bridge.

And you just might get one of those kittens. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

MaoMao said...

(((((((((big huggies))))))))) to you and yur fambly from alla the Ballicai. Our thoughts and purrs are with you, and we know you will miss yur preshus gurl and remembur her fondly.

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Dr Tweety of da Fab Five said...

We iz furry sorry fur lozin' your tortie gurl. Evfun if dey are reddy to goez.. sometimez it iz still so sad to haz to makes da deecishun. Many blessingz to you.

Tara said...

Kali, you were a girl after my own heart! Way to go! Baby, Storm, Bonnie and many others are waiting for you at the bridge to lend a paw and show you the way.

Love, hugs and purrs to all of Kali's family. There is nothing to make it easier except time....

Tara

Anonymous said...

Dear Lynn, Mom and I are sending huge ((((((((hugs)))))))) to you. What a precious girl Kali was, and you will always remember her with love. Please know our love and our hearts are with you and you are in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. We are here for you.

Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn.

Gattina said...

Oh, I am so sorry to read this, what a very sad moment you had ! But for her it's better, so she didn't have to suffer more. It will take some time until you get over this loss.

Bubbles said...

Purrrs & (((((( HUGS )))))

Karen Jo said...

I am so sorry that it didn't go as well as planned, but the last thing Kali felt and heard was your love and that is a good thing. I know your heart is broken, but Kali is still in there and always will be. You did the right thing for her and now she is running free and playing at the Bridge. {{{HUGS}}}

CRIZ LAI said...

Hugssss... I understand the feeling of losing a close friend and companion which you have been with for so many years. Sadness did fill my heart to see yet another one moving over the bridge. I have braved up after being through with Stormie's farewell, you should be too on Kali's.

Purrs and prayers,
Criz & the J Family

Alexi said...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}} to you. We are keeping you and your family in our purrayers and are purring hard!

Daisy said...

Daisy's Mom here:
When we had to bring Cricket in for the final time, we also asked to be there after the sedation but wanted to leave after he was no longer aware. It took over 30 minutes, and those were the hardest 30 minutes ever as he slowly let go of consciousness. It is such a difficult time. I am sorry it did not go smoothly for you, but at least Kali is now at peace. I'm thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear the sad news.Hugs and gentle purrs ...Ariel

michico*Adan*Lego-小芥*阿丹*樂高 said...

Keep giving you big big hugs and prayers..... Please don't feel bad....It's just the time have to go....She is fine now...and she needs your happiness thought to help her to relieved :(

I am so sorry....and I come back often to see how you doing, purr and purr to purr the best I can.

Katiez Furry Mewz said...

(((((( HUGS and PURRS))))) from Katiez Katz.

Kali reminds me of my ornery Katie who snuck out last night and wasn't back in the house until this morning.

Kali was a fighter -- sometimes it more of an honor that a furry fighter lets us close into their heart and soul.

Our prayers are with you today.

Kat-Renee Kittel

Dragonheart, Merlin, Devi, and Chloe said...

We are so sorry to hear that Cali has gone to the Bridge. :( You have our deepest condolences. She will live on forever in your hearts. Our thoughts, purrs and prayers are with you. *Hugs*

Robyn and The (Mostly) Badass Cat said...

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
It's hard when it doesn't go just right, but it's so good she's not uncomfy any more now.
We had a moment of silence and purrs for Kali's trip to the Bridge at the shower, then we celebrated her life with a wild vespa ride down Lombard St in San Francisco (where the shower was).
Purrrrrrrrrrs,
Alla Us Hotties

Millie said...

Millie and I are so sorry about Kali.

I know how hard it is, and how much you miss her already. I'll tell you this, it isn't any easier when it does go smoothly. I am sure she was happier you were with her, though.

We know she is welcomed at the Bridge by Gizzy and Jasmine, Storm and all her other friends from the cat blogosphere.

Hugs and purrs to you all,
Lynne & Millie

Tink said...

I'm so sorry to hear this... Hugs and love to all of you to deal with this loss. I'll light a candle for Kali in front of my Bast statue.

Halloween said...

There are lots of leaky eyes around our house today. We are so sad that Kali had to go to the Bridge. She was a wonderful tortie! We are sending Kali and all of you lots of love and purrs.
We'll see her at the Bridge!

Purrs and paws, Halloween and her people

Forty Paws said...

Lots of purrs and purrayers are coming your way. And many {{{hugs}}} to all of you.

Luf, Us & Maw

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

We are sorry that Kali had to go to The Bridge but she knew and you knew that it was her time. You gave her the most precious gift of being with her and soothing her as she drifted off to sleep.She is now pain free and happily playing with friends old and new. Treasure your memories.

Anita said...

We´re so sorry for your lost...
:´-(

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsss and (((((hugs))))

Turkey Cats said...

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Fat Eric said...

We are sorry that Kali had to go to the Bridge but it was time and you did the right thing to help her not suffer. Maybe she is playing with my sister Hattie who we also had to help to go to the Bridge four years ago. We know you have lots of great memories of Kali. Sending loud purrs too

PUUUURRRRRRRRR

Fat Eric and his mum Kate

PS The kittens do sound cute!

Poppy Q said...

Dear Lynn and all the gang, sending you hugs from across the ocean. I am sorry for your loss, but I know you chose the right time to help Miss Kali.

We have had lots of rainbows in our town this week, it must be all our friends saying goodbye.

Poppy and mum Q

Just Ducky said...

Many purrs to you on the lose of Kali. She was a wonderful cat and she will live on in your heart.

Captain Jack and Sir Dante said...

We are sending you huge hugs and comforting purrs. We know that this is such a horrid time but never forget that you are loved and you are in our thoughts and hearts.

Bogdan, the editor said...

Purrs to your family. We have you in our thoughts. So sorry about Kali.

Love, The Morning Scratchers

The Lee County Clowder said...

We didn't know Kali, but we are sorry for your loss. It sounds like Kali wanted you around at the end, and was NOT going to have it any other way.

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Taz, and Binq) said...

I am sorry that it was a bit more difficult than you expected. This kind of event is hard on people. But you can be relieved that Kali is no longer in pain.

My thoughts to you in this sad time.

The Big Thing

Skeezix the Cat said...

We are purring and purraying for yoo, and are keeping yoo in owr thots and purrayers.

Anonymous said...

Sweet Mom Lynn, I wanted to check in on you and give you more love and snuggles. You are in my heart, and in the hearts of all us Ballicai and our Mom. The love you and sweet Kali shared will live forever -- where there has been love, there's never a last goodbye.

Purrs, love, and gentle headbonkies from Marilyn.

We3Katz said...

Purrz fur Kali and u.

MISS PEACH ~(^.^)~ said...

Dearest Lynn and Tyler! I am ever so sorry to hear this sad news about Kali's leaving. It is so hard to miss her so very much. My beloved Miss Minka was 18 years old too when we said goodbye. I have a picture of her on my Cat Art Sunday where I have also placed a photo of your dear little Kali. Minka was there to greet Kali and show her the best saucers of creme in heaven.
Take comfort in your treasured memories.
{{{{HUGS}}}}

Laila and Angel Minchie said...

The tears we shed are purely selfish ones like you said. Lynn, it will get a little easier each day. But the missing never goes away. Each time someone goes to the Bridge, we experience it right along with you.

Laila and I want to send you all a card. Could you email me your address? If you don't want to give it out I totally understand!!! My email address can be linked to on my profile page.

Peggy and Laila

Tiki, Kirby, and StanLee said...

We are very sorry about Kali. We are sending you purrs and hugs.

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

Tyler, a locum is somebody who stands in furr vets, doctors or nurses when they are sick or on holiday. I don't think the locum I saw was loco. That's more likely to be mum.
purrrs Eric

The Crew said...

We're so sorry to hear about Kali. She had a long life and was well-loved, but we have to do what's right for them, not for ourselves. Pay extra attention to Tyler, Sophie, Cooke & Jake. They'll miss her too.

The Furry Kids said...

(((hugs)))
After we had to have our Shadow put to sleep, the vet told me that we'd made a kind, but difficult decision. I carried those words with me for the longest time. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I knew that I had to do what was best for my girl. I hope that those words can be a comfort to you, too.

I'm sorry that it didn't go as smoothly as you had planned, but you helped her go with dignity and love. I know how hard it is and how sad you feel. Please know that you're not alone. There are a lot of us here if you need to talk. My e-mail is thefurrykids AT gmail DOT com if you need a shoulder or even just to talk about her.

Rest in peace, sweet Kali.

Darci (The Furry Kids' Mom)

Tybalt said...

We were all so sad to hear the news about Kali today. We are going to miss our fellow tortie sister! It comforted us to know that Lilly and Stormie and Bonnie are all up there to help her at the Bridge. I expect we'll be hearing a lot more rumbling from the heavens now that there is a tortie with 'tude up there.

We are purring very hard for you to heal.

~Holly and Ivy (and Tybalt and Tybalt's Mom)

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

We are so sorry for your loss. Now Kali is all better and running around like a kitten! Sending you purrs and purrayers.

Junior, Orion and Meowm

Mr. Hendrix said...

We're so sorry to hear Kali went to the Bridge. She took all your love with her.

We are sending you many purrs and hugs for comfort.

Moki The Wobbly Cat said...

We just heard the news! We are so very sorry! Our thoughts and purrs are with you!